PART V - THE MAJOR ISSUES

Sex

The view of the authors of this web site is that God intended sex for human beings for procreation and bonding in the committed state of marriage.  When one compares an exclusive sexual relationship in a good marriage with any other use of sex in society, the differences are dramatic. 

In premarital (including living together) or extramarital sex, the focus is typically selfish and recreational.  The primary concern is usually “protection” from pregnancy, venereal disease, or getting caught. Often there is pressure to perform, jealousy, insecurity, and obsession with appearance.

In a healthy and exclusive marital relationship, the partners are in it for the long haul.  They are open to children, even “accidents” when they are planning their family.  There is no fear of disease.  They become comfortable with each other’s bodies and learn how to give each other pleasure.  There is no “performance pressure”. There is humor.  There is sensitivity. Studies prove these couples have more satisfying sex, and have it more often.

Married couples are not immune to sexual difficulties, however. Some are real problems, and some are just perceptions.

Spouses can have very different ideas about frequency, or what activities or positions they are willing to try.  Sometimes, there are physical problems (erectile dysfunction, vaginal dryness, etc.) or emotional hangups.  Some prefer spontaneity, others prefer routine.  The first step (take a guess!) is communication backed by unselfishness. If a solution that is satisfactory to both partners cannot be had quickly, seek professional help.