PART V - THE MAJOR ISSUES

Money

You often hear that “money is the root of all evil”. This is not true.  That expression came from a Bible verse that says that the love of money is the root of all evil.  What this means is that money is a necessary part of life, but problems occur when materialism and selfishness rear their ugly heads.

These are not the only issues with money, however. Many marriages have gotten into trouble when financial difficulties occur through the lack of a proper understanding of money and how to manage it.  Money is a tool, like a hammer, that can either help build a strong marriage or demolish it.

Goals

Every married couple needs to have a consensus on money. You and your spouse should communicate and form an overall plan that takes into account your key, non-material goals for your marriage and family (e.g. stay-at-home spouse vs. two careers, country or city lifestyle, retirement timetable, children’s education, charitable giving, etc.). These decisions should be the drivers that, along with expected available income, dictate your acquisition of material things and overall spending. 

Too often people get in over their heads by focusing first on material goals and these things end up running their lives.  For example, because a couple wanted a huge house, they could not have one spouse stay at home when they had children.  In cases like this, you don’t own what you have, it owns you - it dictates how you live your life and takes away your freedom.

Budgeting

Once there is agreement on your key, non-material goals, the married couple should develop a budget which allocates income to rent/mortgage, food, car, utilities, taxes, charities, gifts, rainy day fund, investments, etc. Remember to include adequate spending money for each spouse and allowances for the children in the budget. As long as they have the discipline to follow the budget, the couple now have the control they need to live as they please.

Goals and budgets are helpful, but life does not always cooperate. They are useful tools, but sometimes it’s better to change them than to be their prisoners. However, resist the temptation to abandon either your goals or your budget. 

Accounting

On a day-to-day basis, it usually works better for one spouse to handle the money (pay the bills, balance the checkbook, etc.). You and your mate should decide who does this based on time, talent, and interest. The person who does handle the money should be the administrator, not a dictator. A marriage is a partnership, even if only one spouse is working outside the home.

Debt

Debt controls us and limits our options. Except for major purchases (home, car, etc.) avoid debt like the plague.  Keep one credit card for emergencies. Avoid making normal purchases with a credit card unless you have the discipline to pay it off every month.

If you have problems with credit, there are a number of non-profit credit counseling organizations who can help you.  If you don’t know someone who can recommend one of these agencies from personal experience, enter credit counseling non-profit into a search engine, such as Google and it will return a number of organizations you can contact.

Financial Freedom

The ideal situation for most people is to achieve financial independence.  It comes when passive income (income that does not require labor, such as interest on savings or stock dividends) exceeds your expenses.  When this happens work outside the home is no longer necessary.

You don’t have to be rich to be financially independent. If your expenses are low, financial freedom can be had with a modest passive income. However, you need to plan and save/invest to get there.