PART V - THE MAJOR ISSUES

Mental Health

In modern society, problems like severe anxiety, depression, and insomnia are frequently caused by stress.  However, mental problems can also be caused by a physical problem, such as an imbalance in brain chemistry. When symptons occur, seek professional help immediately. Like physical problems, mental and emotional problems are more easily dealt with when caught early.

In the case of a stress-related problem, almost always it is not the stressor, such as a job, but our response to the stressor which creates the suffering, and the subsequent impact on marriage and family. Sometimes removing oneself from the situation solves the problem, but in most cases the better solution is to learn how to deal with the stressor (and life) more effectively.

If you suspect you or your spouse is having mental or emotional problems, try and get counseling as soon as possible.  Sometimes this is hard to accept, especially for men, who may see counseling as a sign of weakness. 

If the one who is hurting is your spouse, and they think you are the problem, they are likely to ignore your advice.  Be loving, kind, compassionate, and persistent. If necessary, enlist the help of friends, relatives, doctors, and/or colleagues the spouse respects to make the same suggestion. The message should be that there is nothing to be ashamed of, and you only want the best for them.

It is important to note that, except in the case of physically caused problems, doctors and counselors do not “heal” the mental health patient. Many people start therapy with the notion that the doctor will give them a pill or tell them what to do and they will get better quickly.

The patient, guided by the therapist, and sometimes with the temporary help of medications, does their own healing and it can be hard and painful work.  The process can take a long time, and requires a patient who wants to be healed. A supportive and encouraging spouse is critical to success.

In a severe situation, where you fear danger to yourself, or others, do not delay, call 911 immediately.  If you fear the person having the crisis is a danger to themselves, call 911 or take them to the nearest emergency room.  Some states have county crisis hotlines which can be used if danger is not imminent.