PART I - THE BASICS

What is Love?

(Write your own answer before continuing)

For a marriage to be successful, it is absolutely critical that each spouse understand true marital love.  Love is not a feeling.  It is not lust.  It is a choice that the person loved will be the most important person in your life, for life.  This does not mean the second most important person after yourself. Putting your spouse first is the primary key to marital happiness.  This can be a hard concept to accept and requires further explanation.

When each spouse in a marriage has, as their primary objective in the relationship, the well-being, fulfillment, and happiness of the other, both will conduct their lives unselfishly.  This means that everything the husband does, and every decision he makes, is governed first by what is best for his wife, and vice versa.  This does not mean that there are never any disagreements, only that the fundamental, underlying principle governing the actions of each is spouse-centered, not self-centered.

In order for this to work, however, there must be excellent communication between husband and wife. Neither should assume they know what is best for the other and make unilateral decisions.

True marital love requires sacrifices by each partner.   We currently live in a crude and vulgar world where selfishness, materialism, and self-gratification are glorified - but this is not the path to happiness. The incredible joy of real intimacy is reserved to those who pay the price for it.