PART V - THE MAJOR ISSUES

Living Together

More and more couples are opting to live together before, or instead of marrying. Conventional wisdom says that this is a great way for a couple to find out if they are compatible before marrying.  Some claim to do it for economic reasons. Unfortunately cohabitation can actually increase the probability that a relationship or subsequent marriage will fail.

The primary reason why living together is not a good idea is the lack of commitment.  The mindset is completely different.  For example, without the commitment of marriage, cohabiting partners tend to be more independent regarding money, time, and activities.  Also, they are either less tolerant of problems in the relationship, since they can split at any time, or more tolerant than they should be for fear of losing their partner. These and other attitudes become ingrained and can carry forward into the marriage.

For a comprehensive look at the whole issue of cohabitation, we recommend Getting Married, Living Together by Anthony J. Garascia, available for $2.95 from Ave Maria Press.  This is a Catholic treatment of the subject but it does an excellent job in discussing the practical aspects of living together.