PART I - THE BASICS

Should I Try and Change My Spouse?

(Write your own answer before continuing)

If you and your spouse are not on the same page regarding your marriage situation:

1. He/she thinks things are fine and you don’t or,
    
2. He/she thinks you are the problem and you disagree, or
    
3. You both think the other is the problem,

You may be tempted to want to change your spouse.  The only long-lasting impact you can have on your spouse is through communication and changing yourself.

The “how-to” of both communication and changing yourself will be dealt with at great length throughout the site.

Sometimes pride, a lack of maturity, malignant selfishness, or mental illness doom a marriage. However, most marriages that end in divorce can be saved if even one spouse makes the effort of changing and communicating, because that effort often results in a new attitude on the part of the other.