PART V - THE MAJOR ISSUES

Affection

Affection is an important form of communication. It tells your spouse that you love and care for them. It should be frequent and spontaneous. 

A pat on the bottom, a request for a hug, opening a door, holding hands, a compliment, a flower or small gift for no reason, cooking a favorite meal, a hello kiss, and so on, are all forms of affection.  They make your spouse feel special and help keep your marriage vibrant.

Unfortunately, many marriages lack affection.  Some “macho men” feel silly or too vulnerable.  Sometimes it’s just that life has become routine.

If you don’t have affection, or enough of it, in your marriage, it may be awkward to try and change. If your relationship is strained, your spouse might even reject your initial attempts. One option is to try the non-physical at first and work your way up to more intimate displays of affection.

If you are uncomfortable about displays of affection because you did not see that when you were growing up, or because what your spouse thinks of as simple affection means more than that to you, a professional counselor may be the way to go.  For example, some people, especially those who have been abused or raped, react negatively because they see the intended affection as intrusive.