|
PART V - THE MAJOR ISSUES
Abortion
Many who favor abortion believe that they are supporting women’s rights. Unfortunately, this misguided stance has had a terrible impact on women and marriage.
Abortion is used primarily as a form of birth control (see report developed by Physicians for Reproductive Health and the Alan Guttmacher Institute). Sometimes husband and wife are in agreement, sometimes a woman chooses it by herself, and sometimes, ironically, the wife is coerced by her husband, partner, or parents (so much for women’s rights!).
In any case, the psychological impact on the woman can be devastating. It may not show up immediately, but the guilt, regret, and (if it was someone else’s idea) resentment often have lifelong impacts on the woman and her marriage.
In the situation where the husband does not want the abortion, he, too, can have long-term bitterness and regret - regret that he did not do more to stop the killing of his child - with obvious strain on the relationship.
Most abortions are selfish acts - the killing of an unborn son or daughter for convenience sake - and the twisted logic and denial used to rationalize it invariably wears thin, especially since there are other alternatives, such as giving the child a loving home through adoption. An example of some of the flawed thinking often heard is “I want an abortion because I could never give my child away!” (which means: “Rather than give my child a chance at life in a good home, I’d prefer to kill him/her”).
As a result, there is often much tension in a marriage where the wife has had an abortion during or before the marriage. Sometimes the cause is not present on the conscious level, but sadness and anger are some of the symptoms.
Healing the pain and healing the marriage require help beyond the scope of this web site. Professional counseling has been proven to be very successful. In addition, Rachel’s Vineyard and Project Rachel are two excellent sources of information and assistance for those dealing with the aftermath of abortion.
|
